Cocooon of Chaos

"Mummy, they're Charlotte's babies!"

~Beans upon seeing a patch of baby spiders by our front door.

Mi Casa

                   BEFORE

 

 

AFTER

The only thing that has not changed is the ability for us to collect clutter!

My poor neglected blog....

Since my last post, life has been a complete whirlwind. Devin and I had the brilliant idea to remodel the house in the dead of winter, which in hindsight, proved to be disastrous. What we budgeted for ended up being quadrupuled by the plumbing inspector, but now that all is said and done, we are beyond happy. We gutted the kitchen, ripped down every wall in the house, and built a closet in our bedroom. Sounds simple enough, I know, but it was a massive project.

Life in the new house is a mixed bag of emotions, to be honest. I am in the odd position of this being my grandparents' house and seeing as my grandmother is deceased, the only thing I have left of her.  Upon seeing the kitchen down to the studs was a punch to my stomach--the pain was intense and it shocked the hell out of me. It was as if everything I remembered, cherished, and held onto was gone.  So many of my memories of her was in that dingy kitchen. At the same time, I knew she always wanted a nice kitchen and for reasons and circumstances, she never had that kitchen. It was bittersweet because I knew she was happy for me and my family but I would do anything to have her back.  Owning this house is a difficult thing sometimes as I love it dearly and feel like she's here with me now and again yet feeling these things only makes her loss that much more obvious and undeniable.  Just today I was planting flowers and I was overcome by the fact that she would never see these flowers or see my kids. Now this is not a new death by any means, but when you live amongst constant memories, it is hard at times to ignore the sadness. But being faced with these emotions also makes it so much easier to remember that life is so damn short.  As I was digging in the dirt, my girls were playing with each other and I know as much as they drive me bananas, time is dragging them away into girlhood so fast. I wish I could freeze both of them as they are: two boisterous, curious, loving, and compassionate little monsters who bring out the best and worst of me.

 

I will soon be a stay-at-home mother so I promise to never neglect my blog again!