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January 10, 2009

Snow Days

So, another day of snow is pending in my neck of the woods--from most reports, we will be getting dumped on tonight and all of tomorrow.  For the past few weeks, we have had many snow days and although they are difficult, I am beginning to see a real value being trapped indoors. All week, we are rushing the girls out the door to get to school on time and get errands done on Saturdays. We have a strict rule of no rushing on Sundays and try our hardest to spend time as a family, but things always seem to come up. That being said, these recent storms have forced us to stay in one place as a family and I so enjoy these days. It is nice to stay in our jammies all day and play games, watch movies, and goof around. It makes me realize, however, that we do not do this enough. We are so rushed to get things done, go places, etc. that we rarely get time like this as a family. And, no my kids are not over scheduled, Ava has ballet one day a week and that is it, but even the mundane errands seem to take up so much time.

These snow days are bittersweet: I enjoy them, yet I also realize how fast time is slipping away from me. Ava is going to be 5 in July and we are registering her for Kindergarten this month and it is so hard for me to accept that she is no longer the chubby little baby I rocked for hours or the defiant toddler who flushed my wedding ring down the toilet.  She is a little girl now and it is so hard to let her go. I just want to grab her sometimes and make her freeze right now when her favorite color is pink, her best friend is her sister, and her goal in life is to be a "rock star, doctor, painter, and maybe a tattoo artist, too".  But, I know I can not. I know I have to let her go, allow her to trip and fall but always be there to apply the band-aid...well, okay Ava has a severe fear of band-aids, so I guess I'll always be there to hug her when she falls, fails, or triumphs. I know she will do all three...I hope she will do all three because each fall leaves a scar to remind us of our mistakes, each failure forces us to look inside ourselves and do better next time, and each triumph provides us with the courage to never give up.

I do, after all, still have my little Lily and many more snow days.

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Somewhere along the line I read Devin the last story I was to ever read to him. There was nothing to make the moment. It just came and went. As much as we would want those days to continue, they will pass. All there is to do is enjoy the moment as best as can be and remember.

I commend your desire to remember.

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