Being spontaneous is something that I am not very good at, to say the least. I am a planner--I like to know exactly what I am doing so I am prepared for what may come my way. I think much of this was born with the birth of Ava, as she was a "challenging" baby and planning was my desperate attempt for some normalcy in my life. And then, nineteen months later, my little Lily was born and that need for structure was even more powerful and all-consuming. Our days were heavily planned with play dates, feedings, naps, and chores. As the girls grow older, life is definitely becoming easier and I am slowly realizing that this scheduling is not a healthy thing. So, last Saturday it was a dreary day and on the way home from Bagel World, I had the brilliant idea of stopping at the library to see if they had any museum passes available for the day. God love libraries, they had a pass to the Peabody Essex Museum in Salem, which is five minutes from the house and would only cost us $10 for admission. Sadly, I had never been there so that made it that much more exciting.
We came home to a house that needed to be cleaned, dishes that needed to be put away and laundry that needed to be folded. For anyone that knows me, understands what a big step it was for me to leave these things unfinished and head out to the museum. The girls were so excited and it was then that I had an epiphany: my neurosis was filtering to them and they just needed a day off as much as I did. And, what a lovely day we had! The museum was amazing, splendid, and beyond my expectations. It was a great mix of fine art, science, and modern art. The most amazing exhibit was
The Chinese House, in which the museum had a house sent over on a boat from China and rebuilt the entire house, furnishings included, outside of the museum. It was astonishing on so many levels: the craftsmanship of the house, the ornate yet simple style of the decor, and the humble feelings of walking through a house that once was the home to an entire family living amongst each other. It was breathtaking. I wish I had more pictures to post, but no photography was allowed so I took this picture from outside the museum. Really an incredible museum that I feel fortunate to have a stones throw away from my house: www.pem.org.
When we returned to the messy house, the things that usually make my skin crawl seemed so silly and ridiculous: why ruin such a great day with my family by "sweating the small stuff"?! Again, stepping out of myself was what I needed, no matter how hard it was for me. Devin and I vowed to do this once a month, whether it be going to a museum or taking a long car drive to a new destination. The girls need to see that life can not be planned all the time. Things come up that cannot be controlled or anticipated and the best way to handle these things is to dive in head first with a clear, positive attitude. This is my goal for myself in the future...also to expose the girls to as many museums as I can. They loved the experience and for their ages,two and a half and four, they were absolute angels. They respected the art, kept their distance, and were so curious about different exhibits. Ava was so intrigued by the little shoes women used to wear in China during the foot binding process; I explained to her as age appropriately as I could and her response was, "Mummy, that's silly to hurt someone like that. I would have said, 'No thank you to that!'" Ah, my little strong female, I do adore her so.
The day ended with the girls declaring we have a fancy, ball dinner so they rummaged through their dress up box, picked out a tie for Devin, a crown for me and two fancy dresses for themselves. We lit the candles, poured the wine, and had a decadent meal together. I reveled in the fact that right now the girls only want to be with us when in a few years, will avoid us like the plague and blush with embarrassment when we remember this evening. I can feel time slipping from my fingers with them and I want to desperately hold on. This day was a reminder to me that the dishes and laundry can wait--life is too damn short to miss out on such momentous, precious moments with these amazing little creatures I brought into this world. It is so easy to get lost in the mundaneness of daily life and bogged down by the never ending list of responsibilities that comes with being a parent. But, let us not forget that above all else, we must be happy and to be happy, we must let go sometimes. It is only when we step out of ourselves that we see into ourselves.
