These past 8 days have been some of the hardest of my life. The grief, the reality, the pain of my brother's death is wrecking me. I've been very good to myself and just allowing each moment to come as it may. Some are full of tears, others laughter, even more full of rage. I'm angry. This is not an emotion I do well with, so I'm forcing myself to sit in this anger and look for the bits of joy. And can I tell you, there are thousands of moments that have taken my breath away this week. My house is chock full of beautiful bouquets sent from friends near and far. My fridge is stocked by friends whose kindness, thoughtfulness, and unwillingness to believe that I'm okay. My days are spotted with messages from so many people telline me what a great kid my brother was or how strong I am. It is very hard to find beauty in all of this tragedy but I'm telling you, the overabundance of love I'm feeling from so many people is the greatest gift of this hard time. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so very much for your generosity, your thoughts, your prayers, your messages, your flowers, your groceries, and your care and concern for me and my family. I am utterly flabbergasted and swimming in so much love right now, it is impossible to drown in this sadness. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I am not one that is okay with accepting help, and I'm working on this. All of you are making it so much easier to do so. There will never be adequate words to express my sincere gratitude.